I am stuck in some parallel universe where I can not shake this funk. Everything is making me cranky or pissy or makes me feel pms'y (yes, I'm aware I made up a word!). It has started to feel like everyone else in my life has great news to share: engagements, babies, moving, ANYTHING. I feel like I am standing still and when I get news it makes me upset or even envious.
I hate not feeling thankful for what I do have. I have my two little pups that I love, but I want a baby. I have my wonderful boyfriend, but I want a husband. I have a gorgeous house, but I want a new kitchen. I love my car, but I wish it were newer. I feel like a brat throwing a tantrum.
I know there are people out there completely worse off from where I am. I think of where I was 3 years ago and I'm proud to be alive. I was still depressed from losing my son (which I still carry around on my heart), newly widowed and just plain depressed. Lately it's been feeling like I'm slipping back into a huge depression and I'm not sure why. My friends are passing me by and I'm left on the sidelines being upset. I used to have such a zest for life and now it takes everything I have to get out of bed each morning.
I don't expect anyone else to understand. This is my blog where I share how I'm feeling without being judged. I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I need to purge my mind and hopefully gain some clarity from this.