Tuesday, November 9, 2010

This is unreal

I can't understand why I'm feeling the way I do. I did just find out a coworker's wife is expecting their 2nd child (not a happy day for me). I don't agree with how they raise their first child :( It seems everyone I know is pregnant or having something spectacular happen in their life. Here I am, sitting another game out.
My depression has hit an all time high (or low). I'm not happy about anything in my life. School, work, my relationship with my bf or my family. I hate taking things for granted but I'm constantly throwing myself pity parties :( Not to mention I started a new medication that is throwing my hormones for a loop. My pain from my cysts are back, so I'm spending about 70% of my day in constant agonizing pain.
Everyday I have good intentions, start the day with a clean slate. Check off a few things from my to do list and even cook or bake something. Instead I spend all of my time curled in a ball crying in the corner. My panic attacks are increasing, both in severity and frequency. The cyst pain is also increasing and my 2nd doctor has agreed that the pain will subside.....EVENTUALLY. I've asked numerous doctors, but I can't believe their solutions are deal with it until it goes away.
I have bananas rotting that need to be made into bread (or muffins). 
A bowl full of apples for pie. 
And a roast waiting to be thrown in the crockpot. 
Laundry to do, dishes to wash and floors to scrub. 
Nothing is getting done.To top it off I've been picking fights with Mr. P over everything. From what to have for dinner to what I want for my birthday. I feel like a horrible person. Maybe I should change the blog name to the complaining chronicles?


  1. :( life is tough. I'm so sorry about your cysts. Try to focus on the positive things in your life, the things we tend to take for granted every day. You're not a horrible person, you're just going through a rough time. I hope things get better soon for you.

  2. Thanks, I'm having a hard time feeling like I never catch a break :/

  3. Sending you a virtual hug. I'm sorry things are rough right now.. I do hope they get better for you! ♥

  4. Thanks for the hug! Things are starting to look up now that I'm getting ready to head home and see my puppies :)